Assertiveness, Healthy Mind Now


Assertiveness is described as “the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive.”  Reportedly it is a learned skill.

What does it take to become assertive?

You have to have increased awareness of personal rights, differentiating between non-assertiveness and assertiveness, between passive–aggressiveness and aggressiveness, and learning verbal and nonverbal assertiveness skills. 

Passive people do not defend their boundaries and allow aggressive individuals to abuse and/or manipulate them through fear. Passive people are not likely to try and influence others. Aggressive individuals do not respect boundaries and have no qualms about harming others while trying to influence them.

A person communicates assertively by overcoming the fear of speaking their mind and respecting the boundaries of others. Assertive people defend themselves against aggressive individuals.


You have to think you are God’s gift to the world, while being humble. It does not mean that you have to believe that you are “God’s gift to the world”, because you are not.

In order for people to like you, you have to act at their level, while presenting yourself as an educated, sociable and likable individual.

Do not allow anyone, under any circumstance, to put you down, not your family, your friends or romantic relationship.


When you enter a room and you walk in like you own it, people think that you belong there. However, if you walk into a room wondering if someone would think that you don’t belong there, you don’t belong there.

Loving yourself.

The first rule, in my perspective, is that no one is better than you, no one deserves anything more than you.

People do not change unless they want to. If your significant other treats you in a way that makes you feel like a “second class citizen”, you should address it with the individual, you should walk away, or you should stop complaining and feeling sorry a yourself.  That is where the old adage comes into play “you make your bed, now lay in it.”

Second Class Citizen.

In this situation you may experience (1) worthlessness, (2) fear  or (3) inability to express your feelings.

(1)Worthless – maybe you feel that the individual is better than you.

(2)Fear – you might be afraid of losing the relationship, even though it makes you feel bad, you might reason that it is better than being alone.

(3) You freeze – you become unable to speak, (the proverbial lump in your throat) due to the enormous amount of emotions you experience at the moment.

Just remember, whatever choice you make is what you are going to live with.